i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
