His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
