Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
