I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
