Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
