I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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