um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
