love makes seman taste better
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
