Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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