oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
