well you can't waste a boner
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
