With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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