I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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