its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the day after is always just damage control
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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