We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
