the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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