The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
