Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
