you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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