all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
