Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize