we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
