the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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