yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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