you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
