it wasn't lemon gatorade
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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