Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
