umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
