Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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