once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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