Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
