You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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