if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
