I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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