just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
