so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
