i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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