hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
