i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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