In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
