New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
