im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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