windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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