I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I supernannyed him into submission
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
