I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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