It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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