you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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