i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
