Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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