a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
