McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
